LangstonBaldwin

BLISS & Flirtation

2011-10-22T01:10:00.000-07:00

To know that a wonderful and blissful guy is out there excites me.
Socializing through flirtation is my way of finding my ideal guy.
Ahh... to be in love is everything!

Let him CUM to me.

2010-11-12T09:22:00.000-08:00

I have spent tireless months of making my self available and present. I have changed my method of approach to dating> tried online dating sites(again and NEVA again)- offline (random convos & flirting in various environments) and damn near telepathy. I have officially thrown in the proverbial dating towel (for now).The most annoying part was my attempts at challenging the idea that you have to wait and let it happen. Guess I was too anxious and enthusiastic. Yeah I know the stars are lining up the right guy that has the pulse for life, expression and communication skills that will balance our relationship but whats wrong with going for what you want Now and not sitting waiting like a MANsel (damsel) in distress?

Ambivalent attraction.

2010-08-24T11:45:00.000-07:00

So, I constantly get hit on by women- FINE! Go to the man bars and insert cricket noises. Okay, well I do get approached by seedy, campy guys. Went to a performance at a small cafe. The singer has gay friends and it totally was a gay friendly establishment but not agay bar from my understanding. Dancing minding my own biz- smiling etc. Then I decide to sit down for a minute and check my phone. A cute female abruptly parks herself right next to me and starts with her iterrogation. "You are handsome- just gorgeous, you have a lot of admires in here." Then she ask who I came with. "Nobody," I reply. Then she aks what do I prefer? I said anybody with beautuful spirit. (Cheesy but that was what my mind told me to say). She said "oh I like that." I know she was into me and I believe so was the clearly gay guy she was hanging with was too. I mean it was all kinds of invasive. Nobody there was I interested in. I don't want to lie but I had to give her an ambivalent answer becasue A) she interupted me B) thought it was so out of place and abrupt. My question is should I have told her I liked guys and is that an apropraite question to answer?

2010-07-23T11:24:00.000-07:00

I am in infuated with Diego.

Summer Lover for Life.

2010-04-12T15:23:00.000-07:00

I am ready for partnership LOVE- I am able and ready to learn and love someone other than myself. I put my energy into drawing my ideal lover to me this summer 2010. It will flow, I will not force it but will expect it.
More details to come, gotta go get ready. :)

Available Brotha for 2010

2010-01-08T12:07:00.000-08:00

My new you resolution is to stop swooning over "unavailable" brothas, especially straight one's. I find it so non-beneficial and emotionally draining. It could be blocking that ONE for you from entering (ahem) your life. It will be hard (ahem). There are countless blogs with beautiful pics of "straight" identified brothas that are married or dating woman and so many of us get all hot and bothered- WHY? They are un-available. I have seen so many blogs posts with these fine men posing with or kissing their ladies and still we crush on them. Yeah, I know it is just a fantasy but I will focus and comment on the single & availbale one's. Just my pennies worth.

SGL DATING- Staying OPEN

2009-10-30T10:19:00.000-07:00

When you get WAY less from you are putting out- WHAT DO YOU DO?

I've been told... "YOU love too much, YOU give too much."
Is there such thing as too much LOVE?

Happy Face Lover

2009-08-25T15:59:00.000-07:00

To see you smile would be my initiative.
When you smile, that is my reward.
A shining radiating beam of inner joy.
Security seen in every flash of your pearly whites.
Cheek bones rising. Eyes dancing.
You my love, I want to see happy 'cause thru your happiness I find my purpose of being with you.

*Image from www.monaga.blogspot.com

If looks could kill

2009-06-25T11:55:00.000-07:00

If looks could kill
I"m gonna try the good looking guys now.
Let me explain. I know that beauty is skin deep and the inner beauty is what we "should" be focused on. I have noticed that I am like the charity case lover when it comes to looks. I do not date random brothas much. I usually meet a guy and over time become exclusive (boyfriends if you will). The thing is most of them have not been the ultimate match for me in the looks department. Not that I am saying I am King Beauty but you know when lovers looks match? The problem is that these mediocre guy's personalities end up matching their looks. I have allowed some of these barely passables to almost destroy my esteem, compete with me and sponge my sweet naturedness. Yes, I know the "fine" one's can have the same attitude but for ME, I am gonna try something New and be extremely selective based on looks with the belief that their outer beauty WILL match their inner beauty. I know it's possible- well I am here aren't I. :)

Not throwing my pearls before swines anymore.

Most Brotha relationships are usually 1/2 for me it used to be 0/2.

I am going for (deserve) 2/2 how 'bout you?

Their God Hates gays.

2009-05-21T20:48:00.000-07:00

I have met some spiritually messed up dudes.
I mean it is nice to date a guy who loves the Lord but then it gets to the point of religious insanity. Out of nowhere they become holier than thou and then run top speed to church(religion) not God. God is everywhere. It's such self hate.
They do not understand that love is what we are here to do. They do what CUMS natural to them then feel guity and beleive church will quick fix and sexually cleanse them and in no time they are back to their old dicks (I mean tricks again).

They will never find resolution with their God because they fail to realize that being gay is part of their sexual DNA. Sex is not a relationship but you can have sex in a relationship. What they also fail to realize is that they are walking contradictions because "church" and "scriptures" is there to bring you to the truth and truth is what exists not what is conjured up. Either you a attracted to men or you aren't. YES it is that simple. I think that is a big mockery to GOD whom created you. I did not wake up and say "hey I'm gonna go after dick to piss of God and the Church." In my eyes it is the fact that they do not know how to love themselves and all God wants is for you to acknowledge that you were created as you are and stop lying and faking your true nature.Stop dragging these deserving women of heterosexuality into your web of sexual frustration and denial.

Next Brotha that I allow into my world is gonna have to love the SGL trinity which is God, himself and me.

What type of guy do you attract?

Not you, you or YOU!

2009-05-05T17:32:00.000-07:00

SGL Brothas, we are a piece of work.
I have to admit that I have, at times been exactly like what I am about to discuss.

Now most of us have indulged in the online search for (ahem) love, relationships and friendships at least. Since when did there come physical requirements to be just friends with someone? I have read the profiles, gawked at the images. Some profiles send mixed messages. E.G; Not Out (yet they have a pic posted), OUT (adventurous yet their photo is set to private or no photo at all). WHAT??? LOL.

How true are we to our ideals of what we are looking for? It is so challenging to connect with dudes online. Keep in mind I still believe the best way is still offline social interactions. I mean we have all the time in the world right to find that "Right" guy? Sometimes we allow Mr. Right to walk right on by.Don't get me wrong, you must have some standards but I think sometimes we set the bar WAY high. You can be so choosy and picky until you run out of options or pick Mister Pretense as a mate. There comes a time in life when character transcends image right? Brothas have so many qualities that they are looking for in a partner yet do they even look within themselves to see if they exemplify those sames qualities?

Well I know from now on when I see or meet someone that reflects some of my ideals, I will be open to exploring an acquaintance/ relationship as long as they look like a Top Model- well stacked, educated, Lot's of Money, cooks, cleans, faithful, always happy ready for sex when I am etc :)Just kidding.

Own worst enemy

2009-03-03T18:49:00.000-08:00

Letting society DICKtate whom and how you love. Even behind closed doors, a "safe place" for two SGL brothas to explore each other, there still lies this distrust or sense of uncomfort. THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE if you ae not wiling to give your all?

SIGH!

roMANce

2009-02-09T12:54:00.000-08:00

Could it be that romance within brotha2brotha relationships exsits?
It must, 'cause I am here, ready and able to give my man my time, my ears, my emotions, my truth, my intentions, my support and express this all in a kiss, a look, a tone in my voice- THA"s roMANce to me.

To some, romance is that sweet talk before we CUM together. To SUM romance is submission, usually on your part, just there to satisfy selfish cravings. Ha roMANce.

RoMANce is not a plea for sex but a plea for love. RoMANce is not a "TOUCHing" but a FEELing, there is a difference. Stop confusing being sexUal with being AFFECTionate, they are not the same. RoMANce is chivalry and civility.

I trust that this idea of roMANce is not completely lost with us Bothas.

LOVE FUCKING LOVE

2009-02-06T21:51:00.000-08:00

If you loved me then you wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's getting old how a lot of Brothas still beleive SEX is the way love is expressed.
Drop my guard and my pants.
A few sweet words to warm up my body.
A lot of non-action outside the bed to chill my soul.
If you loved me then I would feel you deep inside of me with my clothes on.
A fucked up mental dance.
I will not fuck you and think it's love.
AH!!! We just came and you have to go. LOVE ya or love IT?

LOVE in my eyes is truth, support, patience, acceptance, conditionless and selfless.

The SEX thing amomgst us SGL BROTHAS should never be equated to LOVE.
Penetration seems to be the driving force amongst us brothas.
Even when we are getting off, feeling sensual pleasure, it's still not enough unless someone is FUCKED -literally and proverbially.

I mean m2m relationships can be so complicated and I truly beleive that we need to really re-examine our take on the way we deal with each other.

I, like the other dude wants to climax, nut, excrete whatever way you want to put it but I know deep down that sex is something so fleeting and does not define my relationships and a lame way to try to express your love.
What makes our fuck so special? Why is our sex the ultimate expression of your LOVE for me and that fling you had years ago, last month, last night NOTHING?
It's still SEX and the END OF THE NIGHT- RIGHT?
I don't care if you want to call our sexual exchange "making LOVE."
I am not buying it anymore, sex is sex and love is love.

The sex part is the easiest and most obvious part. It cums so natural to us yet we do not put enough empahsis on the togetherness- the support the real effort to show love. Offer sex to a brotha under most situations and circumstances and he is there. Offer love, intimacy and stability minus the sex and you will find yourself hugging thin air.

Most people say that SEX is the 1st thing to go in a relationship so why don't we put sex last in our beginning relationships? It's the first thing we talk about, the first way we express ourselves, it's the first thing we are concerned about, it's the first thing we act upon, obsess about.

Some Brothas of us Brothas will meet someone and spend hours/weeks/ talking about what we want in a relationship but do not wait and observe whether that person meets, represents or capable providing our real desires. We hop into to bed like that is the deal sealer when really that should be the reward for proving oneself worthy and meeting our expectations based upon CONCRETE and CONSISTENT behavioural patterns. OH no, we get so damn hasty and wanna give up th goods.
When we finally realize that the person we are with is truly not even worthy to sip tea with much less taste our wine. Then we go thru emotional withdrawal when really it is just sexual frustraton 'cause that person was NEVER really there with emotion but just there for the motion.

Matrimony Mirror

2009-01-28T18:22:00.000-08:00

I am Single and Same Sexual. Now that's out of the way...

I've read many times that people in your life are like a mirror of yourself.
I used to be the first one to say YEAH THAT IS SOO TRUE.
Now why do I question what it is that they are reflecting back?
I guess that is the question I have to ask myself huh?

The situation...

Why Oh why do I continually meet married men, bi men, guys who have been married before or are in a "situation." I mean it is so strange that of all the options, I continually attract what seems like the most complicated brothas. Is me not being completely OUT the problem? AM I REALLY DL because I pick and choose whom I disclose my sexual proclivities to? Am I still closeted when I fully accept my sexuality and own it and express it to the person I am with? Do I have to run the streets screaming I'm here I'm queer I am black and sticker the rainbow flag on my car? Is that really people's BIZ? Would that throw off this trail of the real DL men that I draw to me?

This is so frustrating because I have gone to the clubs and I consider myself quite gay friendly and quite socially diverse. Been told that I am quite undetectable (trust me I am just being myself unlike the "straight" acting tripe that a lot of SGL Brothas portray).I make myself available and try not to sterotype or discriminte dating options when it comes to Brothas. I will even say Hello to a Tranny or a Drag Queen at the local supemarket if that was to ever take place. Yet, when I meet someone new, there is always this his & hers luggage (ahem baggage) that comes along with them. "Oh my Gosh am I hermaphrodite and nobody told me or am I just the ideal male partner for these guys, not too masc. not to fem. I just don't get it. Maybe it's a compliment that I am everything they ever wanted in a man and in a woman. Maybe I should start wearing a wedding ring to throw them off of my trail. Maybe I should wear a TSHIRT that says NO BI/MARRIED MEN. Maybe it is a compliment that I am marriage material or maybe... okay I'm rambling. LOL

I desire and I WILL meeet an available, single black/latino brotha that, as one of my Fav bloogers THE GAYTE KEEPER says "Ready to Male. Until then I will continue to look deep into this matrimony mirror that is shoved in my face.

This Thing Called Love

2008-12-31T10:18:00.000-08:00

The last day of 2008. I bid farewell to al the tough lessons I learned about loving myself and loving others. To my Brothas take this year(see Obama) as a marker and a guide to build a better, amoere ambitious 2009.

I hope all Brothas in the "life" find truth in who they are, find love within themselves, enough to be by themselves if need be. Good health, better decisions, support and most importanltly LOVE. My wish for those Brothas who truly desire love and commitment and partnership, that 2009 will be the year for you "cause I am claimng 2009 as my year to be all and more that I could have even envisioned.

I LOVE MY BLATINO BROTHAS-

Happy End of 2008

Prude & Proud

2008-11-12T20:07:00.000-08:00

I just finished watching a video blog of someone who just got out of a relationship and now they have confessed and are some-what proud to be a serial hoe (so to speak). I am stunned! You get out of a relationship and decide - "well I cannot commit to one person so I will give myself to errorBody (everybody)I feel." How challenging.

I find it sad that we as SGL brothas feel that it is okay to encourage or agree with our "friends" that exihibit/ brag about this behaviour. So jaded and they don't even realize but they have moved on and are so happy to be free. HMMM! I have always been an advocate for monogamy and practice it, sans the time I slipped. Okay, we all deserve a one free "I messed up" pass. :) Do what you will with your body, but what does it proove? Do I want to hook up with someone who is so available/fast/easy and so used up sexually? NO! How empty are you that you need to get temporarily filled up by water downed gas? Sorry, I prefer premium. Costs more but much more rewarding and less damage down the road. I don't care how responsible you are condom wise. Actually, that is great but the behaviour is still dangerous/risky. I sigh in sadness that many of us Brothas have not read the post it notes left on our psyche's wall. POST IT NOTE One night stands never feel good once you sit to yourself.

I attribute a lot of this to Black PORN> Fantasy does not have to translate to reality. I may visualize 5 hot guys lined up waiting to service ME and ME only but in reality do I want to persue that? ye-NO!

We treat each other like disposable dildos & glory holes.
Some people are just to be admired and not had.

It's not chic anymore.

Are you a hurt person hurting people or a loving person loving people?

And the winner is

2008-11-05T10:58:00.000-08:00

I so beleive in, support and love the strength of our Brothas.
Oh yes HE did.
Now let us Brothas do, more and more great things...

Congrats to Mr. Prez OBAMA!

Under a microscope

2008-10-17T18:02:00.000-07:00

Are you dating anyone?
When you getting hitched?
Do you want kids?
How come I never see you with...

YOU DO NOT CARE about me.
Misery loves company doesn't she.
You just want to validate your own misery.

I live my life under the radar and I don't care anymore.

Straight people act like sexual paparazzi's don't they?
Whether I am out or not, I don't feel like dicsussing my love life with you.

So buzz off!

To all those nosey Parkers in and around my life.

sounds like a rant but really is a rave. :)

keyBORED over paveMENt

2008-09-24T19:25:00.001-07:00

Now I know this is taken from scriptures but it is so applicable to most life situations. We are not supposed put our hands to the plow and look back once we make a decision to move forward. So I have made a decision to be patient and never act out of desparation again. So why have I looked back? Am I acting on inspiration? Could this be the right timing? Or have I let impatience and temporal lonliness take over?

I have signed up for the same online dating site 3rice. I just find that I am way too open, become waaaay too attached to words and way too hopeful in exchange of flat,inconsistent online exchanges and then I shut down my account. I know this is a "tired" question but if I am online and I "believe" my heart is in the right place, is it possible that the person I give my precious typing time to is just as decent, fair and honest with what they want? Or should I just keep my hand to plow and not look back at online potential dating?

side note- I still believe in the convention ideal of public social interaction e.g bumping into that special person as you are coming out of a store or some beautiful random act of fate like that. :)

Subconsciously Straight???

2008-07-23T12:22:00.000-07:00

Could it be that I am too hetero- behaving?

I mean the Sistas seem to fawn over me. Always wanting to exchange numbers. N.B; I am not stating this in a vain or ego based manner.

I had one female friend obsess/ have a mental romantic relationship with me. The friendship ended due to my need to socilaize outside of my upaid therapist-like friendship. It may have been the universe breaking that unrequited love cycle that I allowed to manifest.

I have another female "acquaintance" that I have not seen in years (reason for everything). I am now getting hampered with phone messages with pleas to meet up one on one. "What you do today?, I called you this morning..." I am quite annoyed. More than 3 phone calls in a day is getting stalkerish and quite frankly invasive, especially when it is not coming from your Man/lover. I by no means am requesting this type of behavior from either gender to be exact.

Is my masculinity and regular brotha next door vibe chasing the Brothas away?

Is my "undetectable" gay vibe keeping the Brothas at bay?

Or is it Sistas are becoming way too desperate/ aggressive and latch onto any guy that gives them the time of day, whether he is attracted to her or not?

I truly believe that the only person that really needs to know your sexual affinity is the person you are attracted to or are intimate with.

I do not act "straight", I am just me. I blend in all environments. I do not get more straight in a straight environment or more nellyish in a gay one. I rarely talk about my sex life, I have learned to keep that to myself.

Listen Woman, I do not want with you to jump the broom.
I see your true qualities already in your demanding ways.
Even if I was into your kind, that broom you want us to jump would still stay so vertical.I too have an urgency but based on your attitude and actions you have showed me a mirror of self reflection that I will not find my lover by being a bother just like you.

Listen Man, make up your mind. I am the type of guy you can bring around your peeps and never have to play a role or stiffen up my body to pass. Talk to me I won't bite. I won't do anything to you that you don't want done to yourself. I just want this dodge ball game to end. You know what you desire and I am here just as you required. I can gage chemistry at a glance but I will not stalk, seduce, nor demand atention from you..

Mister Potentiality

2008-06-03T18:28:00.000-07:00

So I sigh, not yet knowing for what reason . I know that everytime I meet him I anticipate the moment when it will be revealed that he sees me the way I see him. How can a vibration be one sided and never be exchanged. Better put... why does one feel and the other not or is that we both feel but only one will reveal? I feel you Mr Potentiality. I know you are here. "Excuse me," Mister Potentiality meet Mr Reality... Me.

a rave for G.

Intimacy

2008-05-12T16:18:00.000-07:00

I am so single right now AND at one with myself but...

I wanna kiss

I wanna touch

I wanna mind fu%#

I wanna be mind fu%#ed

I wanna be connected to a beautiful brotha who is not afraid of connecting with a brotha that craves a lova that will be a lova to anotha brotha. He that is ready to be free... free to express, free to desire, free to be supported free to receive passionate intimate moments. I want him now. :) I have nourished myself through rough times and have touched myself enough times. Can I touch you and share all the joy I have gained along the way? Can you rub my loneliness away?

I am so awaiting for partnership right now, a union of two souls but...

Come A Long Way

2008-04-24T00:04:00.000-07:00

I am learning to love myself and accepting everything about me.
You cannot love if you do not have love.

Expressing my love and concern for black/ latino men truthfully regardless of world opinions is really important.

I may write from time to time but most importantly, I will showcase (post links) to all the great people who are out there advocating, representing and fighting for same sexuality acceptance. They are so brave and are helping me on my path to fully embracing my sexual identity.

I appreciate all of the black/latino men that hurt for me, strived for me and paved a way for me, to be able to express me sexually & socially with another who happens to be the same gender as me.

Love Is Beautiful.
Brothas are so Beautiful.
Black SGL is the New Truth it cannot be ingnored.

This site is inspired by Langston Hughes & James Baldwin.