Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Matrimony Mirror

I am Single and Same Sexual. Now that's out of the way...

I've read many times that people in your life are like a mirror of yourself.
I used to be the first one to say YEAH THAT IS SOO TRUE.
Now why do I question what it is that they are reflecting back?
I guess that is the question I have to ask myself huh?

The situation...

Why Oh why do I continually meet married men, bi men, guys who have been married before or are in a "situation." I mean it is so strange that of all the options, I continually attract what seems like the most complicated brothas. Is me not being completely OUT the problem? AM I REALLY DL because I pick and choose whom I disclose my sexual proclivities to? Am I still closeted when I fully accept my sexuality and own it and express it to the person I am with? Do I have to run the streets screaming I'm here I'm queer I am black and sticker the rainbow flag on my car? Is that really people's BIZ? Would that throw off this trail of the real DL men that I draw to me?

This is so frustrating because I have gone to the clubs and I consider myself quite gay friendly and quite socially diverse. Been told that I am quite undetectable (trust me I am just being myself unlike the "straight" acting tripe that a lot of SGL Brothas portray).I make myself available and try not to sterotype or discriminte dating options when it comes to Brothas. I will even say Hello to a Tranny or a Drag Queen at the local supemarket if that was to ever take place. Yet, when I meet someone new, there is always this his & hers luggage (ahem baggage) that comes along with them. "Oh my Gosh am I hermaphrodite and nobody told me or am I just the ideal male partner for these guys, not too masc. not to fem. I just don't get it. Maybe it's a compliment that I am everything they ever wanted in a man and in a woman. Maybe I should start wearing a wedding ring to throw them off of my trail. Maybe I should wear a TSHIRT that says NO BI/MARRIED MEN. Maybe it is a compliment that I am marriage material or maybe... okay I'm rambling. LOL



I desire and I WILL meeet an available, single black/latino brotha that, as one of my Fav bloogers THE GAYTE KEEPER says "Ready to Male. Until then I will continue to look deep into this matrimony mirror that is shoved in my face.

4 comments:

thegayte-keeper said...

it said that the law of averages says that for every 20 you meet 1 would work out...okay that's mainly for selling products, but I think that it can apply here...

Langston Baldwin said...

Okay TGK- I am at at least 5 and counting. LOL.

Losojosnuevos said...

I think you being "undetectable" has a lot to do with the type of men you're attracting. You're safe. You can be seen in public and not attract attention. You can be seen as their "boy." I think it's totally ok to choose who you disclose your sexuality to. Rainbow flags? If you're into that. Hey, at least you're attracting men. Enjoy it for what it's worth, as you don't know when the singe/black/latino man of your dreams is going to materialize

thetruth said...

YOU BEING SELECTIVE IS GOOD! ITS NO ONES BUSINESS..LIVE FOR YOU! THATS IS PEOPLE'S PROBLEMS NOW! LEARN TO LIVE FOR YOU AND DO WHAT MAKES YOU COMFORTABLE EVEN IF THAT MEANS NOT TELLING EVERY TOM DICK AND JANE THAT YOU LIKE DICK. ITS NOT THEIR BUSINESS AND AFTER THEM FINDING OUT, WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO WITH THAT INFORMATION ESP IF THEY ARE GOING TO JOIN OR AT LEAST INTRODUCE YOU INTO SOMEONE WITH SOME SENSE THAT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR? NOTHING! SO THEY DONT NEED TO KNOW UNLESS YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE SAYING SO!

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